


Sweet Talkin'

by exhostar



Category: Splatoon
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Useless Lesbians, Valentine's Day, but i nearly made my friend cry over this so take that as you will, callie is so tired of marie, four is trying her best :'), i tried so hard not to make this angsty, marie is a braindead idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29424078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exhostar/pseuds/exhostar
Summary: Four was more than fine spending her Valentine’s day down in the Canyons. After all, she'd get to spend it with Marie. In a completelyprofessional, if at the verymost, platonic way, that is. Not to mention, Callie would be there too! So, even if shewantedsomething to happen (which she definitelydidn’t,for the record), itwouldn’t. Definitely.
Relationships: Agent 4/Marie (Splatoon)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	Sweet Talkin'

**Author's Note:**

> big thanks to AddisonNoxy, Ree_Dragon, and experimentorium for reading this through for me! go check out their stuff it's all. so good.

Four didn’t mind spending her Valentine’s day down in the Canyons. The view was gorgeous, it wasn’t packed with love-drunk idiots mulling every corner, and it wasn’t as if she had anyone to spend it with anyway. Her few friends were all busy doing their own stuff, so she couldn’t throw a cynical pity-party even if she wanted to.

And… maybe there was another reason she wanted to spend the day with Marie. But those reasons were _strictly_ professional, if at the very _most_ platonic, and _absolutely_ nothing more. Not to mention, Callie would be there too! So, if she _wanted_ something to happen (which she _definitely_ didn’t, for the record), it _wouldn’t_. That much was certain.

“Distracted?” Marie smirked, snapping Four out of her inner rambling. “Someone must have gotten some attention today.”

She unhooked her Painter’s Mask, pulling it down to her chin, and made a show of sticking her tongue out. “Very funny, Marie,” she huffed, stuffing her hands into her pockets. “No one cares enough about me to bother.”

“What happened to that little inksports gig you had going for you?” the idol chuckled, fiddling with the cane of her parasol, before eventually deciding on stowing it away. “Don’t you have a _fanbase_?”

Four snorted at the thought. “As if anyone would actually _like_ that monster as anything more than a player.” She raised an eyebrow. “Can’t say the same for you, though, where’s your pile?” Truthfully, she’d considered picking up some _friend_ chocolate (underlined and with a capital ‘F’) for Marie, but eventually decided against it. How would she even live it down if it all went up in flames? Move to Octopia and change her name?

Marie only shrugged. “If you wanted to mooch, you’re too late. Gave them all to Callie.” She side-eyed her cousin, who was too preoccupied scarfing down chocolates to offer any insightful conversation. “I’m starting to regret it though…”

“Hey!” Callie grumbled indignantly, elbowing Marie in the side. There was caramel on her nose, and she hadn’t bothered gulping down the chocolate she had in her mouth before haughtily citing, “No take-backs. You didn’t want ‘em, so they’re mine now!”

She glared at Four, who had to stifle a laugh at how childish she was acting. “ _What?_ They didn’t have anything sweet in the Domes. I was _deprived_!” she wailed mournfully.

Marie dismissed her with a bemused roll of her eyes. “Well anyway,” she hummed, reaching behind her, “I’m glad you haven’t gotten any yet.” 

Four stilled, and she considered pinching herself a couple times, worried that she hadn’t actually managed to wake up this morning. After all, where else other than in her wildest dreams would an international popstar slash girl she was (not) way too attracted to be giving her a modest, heart-shaped box? The kind with a delicate gold ribbon tied loosely around it, and a small gift tag that had _‘Four <3’ _ dutifully penned onto it in adorably floaty writing. She barely registered Marie off-handedly mentioning, “This was on sale, and I figured you’d like it,” with all the blood that had decided to rush to her ears. 

Far too flustered to respond to the back-to-back backhanded compliments Marie had just served her with, she realised she was staring, and gave a wordless, dopey grin, taking the box with as much grace as she could muster—admittedly, not a lot. She was mostly used to Marie’s abrasive tone, but one thing she wasn’t familiar with was such open affection from the idol, or at least what Four assumed was her attempt at it. Shell, even Callie, as distracted as she was, had the common decency to gawk at the two of them with a mix of excitement and bewilderment.

Then, she realised she’d spaced out again, and before Marie could comment on it, “Thanks, M’rie,” she beamed, rubbing the back of her head with her free hand. There wasn’t any point in reading too much into the gift; if anything, she just felt guilty she didn’t get anything for her in return.

_Then_ , Callie—with the smarmiest, most smug little smirk a single squid could muster—grabbed another box from her own pile, and held it out to Onyx. “Here!” she chirped, tone as innocent as her intentions were not, “ _Friend_ chocolate.”

Marie’s ears flicked, and—not that she was paying that close of attention—maybe a hint of a blush rose to her face. “Shut up, Callie,” she huffed, crossing her arms. 

Her eyes flicked back and forth between Callie—grinning from ear to ear, no doubt formulating devilish schemes—and Marie—who had taken to staring off into the distance with an unreadable expression. So much for _strictly professional_ , huh?

“Hey Marie,” she ventured, before she could talk herself out of asking, “do you… maybe want to get dinner with me tonight?”

* * *

For the most part, Four quite liked to pick out her outfits, and she spent more time on her appearance than she’d care to admit. This particular occasion though was complete and utter _shell_ , though. As always, she was cursed with the compulsion to ensure everything was perfect, especially for an outing like this, even after starting over for the fourteenth time. Eventually, she settled on an airy white peasant blouse and not-too-short black pleated skirt after an embarrassing amount of deliberation. 

All that emotional turmoil was _more_ than rewarded when Marie gave her a gratifyingly long look as she strolled over, and a small cough as she flitted her eyes away, realising she was staring. With unbidden confidence, Four caught the idol’s gaze, and murmured, “Like what you see?”

“You look cute,” Marie said simply, rubbing her cheek slightly, and she looked away before Four could read too much into it. “Really, it’s unfair.”

Now it was Four’s turn to flush, smiling shyly, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. “Th—thanks!” she managed to squeak out, a noise so uncharacteristic that it got Marie to _smirk_. She wanted to make Marie smirk more often…

Her eyes trailed up to meet Marie’s, and her blush only deepened when she realised that the idol had been staring at _her_. Four couldn’t help but break into a fit of giggles, covering her mouth with her hand as she turned away and screwed her eyes shut, much to the idol’s complete confusion. “Why are we acting so nervous?” she whined, straightening back up and running her hand over her mantle. The movement made small ripples in her seafoam ink. “This is so stupid…”

Marie rolled her eyes. “I’m not acting nervous at all,” she stated, joining Four’s side. “It’s not my fault you decided to dress up so much.” Her tone was as matter-of-fact as always, but Four could tell there was a little affection in there too. “So, where are you taking me?”

Ah, shit. Marie’s eyes narrowed at her sheepish grin. “I uh… didn’t think of that…?”

She wanted to melt on the spot as the idol gave her a half-exasperated, half-amused look. “So you don’t have a reservation anywhere.” 

“Mm… nope,” she mumbled, her sheepishness turning to worry.

“On the busiest night of the year.” Another shake of her head. Marie fussed with her fringe, and Four’s hearts seized in her throat. Oh cod, she messed up. “Were you just… planning to waltz into a random restaurant and expect them to have a table free? Really, I’d expect this from Callie, but—”

Marie must’ve realised how small and quiet Four had grown, because she stopped their idle walking. When Four dared to look up, she offered her best sympathetic smile, and shrugged. “It’s alright,” she assured the poor girl, awkwardly patting her head for good measure. Cod, it was so… clumsy, and Four would rather die than admit how nice it felt, and how much she wanted Marie to keep doing it, so she ducked away with a huff.

“It’s not though,” she complained, petulant. “I’m such an idiot…”

After a beat of silence, Marie mused, “I suppose I could play the fame card.”

Four’s ears flicked in amusement, and she managed a little smirk. “Yeah, as if that would go well.” At Marie’s confused expression, she continued, “Well, I mean, I think the tabloids would have a field day if Marie of the _Squid Sisters_ showed up on a date after mostly disappearing for months.”

“This isn’t a date though?” she half-asked.

Four froze. Marie stared at her, and her eyes widened. “Wait, is this—”

“‘Course not!” she exclaimed, a touch too quickly. She spun around before the idol could see her face. “I mean, it’s Valentine’s day.” Her voice was surprisingly level, and she hoped her shaky breath wasn’t too loud. “It’s definitely gonna look like one if you do something like that.”

Marie chuckled behind her. “I suppose you’re right.”

Fuck, she really didn’t know what she expected. Marie was way out of her league. So out of her league that the idol didn’t even _consider_ her asking-out as anything but platonic. Was it too late to get kidnapped by octolings? She’ll have to ask Callie for advice on that later.

The silence was deafening, and she wanted to retreat back home. Scamper away before she could make an even bigger fool of herself, and maybe hide under her covers for the next few weeks. Months. “Well,” she mumbled, “Might as well just go a different day, huh?” She just hoped her tone wasn’t too bitter. 

When she dared a look back at Marie, she saw she was preoccupied on her phone, worsening the throbbing in her chest. She was probably making fun of Four to her cousin, and the agent had half a mind to just run away right then and there before Marie looked back up, and they met eyes. Four’s darted away first.

“Ah right, sorry,” Marie murmured, awkwardly stowing away her phone. “Callie says that she could host us, if you’re still up for it.”

She really wasn’t. “Sure,” she smiled with feigned relief.

* * *

If Four were in a better mood, she’d appreciate Callie’s antics so much more. Really, it was endearing how much effort their friend had put into this whole thing with such little notice. There was a smattering of candles lit around the hallway, and she’d hung up a few strings of heart-shaped bunting that she apparently had on hand. She was dressed in a suave waiter’s outfit that she undoubtedly _borrowed_ from a past role, and the only thing that really ruined Four’s immersion was the fact that every painstakingly placed piece of decoration made her want to curl up and cry. But oh well.

Even Marie seemed a little uncomfortable. “You really went all out, didn’t you?” she chuckled with an edge of unease. 

Callie, to her credit, picked up on their discomfort immediately, and gave a shy grin. “Thought it would be fun… I didn’t go overboard, did I?”

“Definitely not!” Four quickly assured her, “Thank you for doing all this for us.”

“Even if you _are_ embarrassing me in front of my friend,” Marie grumbled, and Four wished she hadn’t emphasised that last word so much. 

Darting her gaze between the two of them with a worried grimace, Callie managed a cheery smile, and clasped her hands together. “Well, I should get back to the kitchen, but please, do take a seat!” she exclaimed, gesturing widely to the front room. 

As Marie ambled past, Four tugged on Callie’s sleeve like a lost little kid. “Hey Cal?” she mumbled, pouting.

“What’s up Four?”

Her ears drooped. “I just…” Truthfully, she didn’t know what she wanted. Her voice was close to breaking as she sighed, “Marie didn’t realise I was asking her out.” She threw her head down, and rubbed her eyes. “Or, she did, and deflected because she doesn’t like me… can—” she trailed off into a whimper, and she sucked in a deep breath. “Can you sit with us? Please?”

When she looked back up, she couldn’t tell if Callie looked sympathetic or utterly murderous. “Oh my cod,” she scowled, gritting her teeth. “I’m going to _kill—_ ” She shook her head, met Four’s eyes, and gave a bright smile. “Yeah. Yeah, of course, Four. I’m sorry that my cousin’s denser than a coddamn rock.”

She managed a shaky laugh, rewarded by Callie’s pleased beam. “It’s alright,” she assured her. “I… I don’t know what I was thinking, convincing myself she could like me back. I mean, really—” and before she could ramble any longer, she was pulled into a tight hug. Weakly, she relaxed into the touch, letting out the breath she didn’t realise she was holding. Callie only chuckled into her mantle.

“Let’s save this for later, alright?” she chirped, pulling back, keeping her arms on Four’s. “Food’s about to burn, and you gotta save your strength for the rest of the night.” On the girl’s weak nod, she grinned, and spun on her heel with a wink. “Be back in a couple minutes!”

The rest of the night went by in a blur.

* * *

Poor Four had left quite promptly, but Callie couldn’t blame her at all. Marie was initially confused when she sat herself down between the two, but after some half-formed excuse about how she _made_ the food, so _obviously_ she deserved to eat it too, her cousin didn’t seem to mind too much. Though to be fair, it was a really good point, if she did say so herself.

But there were more pressing issues than the fact that she was still hungry. As she closed the door behind her second-favourite agent, her warm pleasantries turned into a scowl. “What the shell’s your problem?” she huffed, folding her arms and leaning against the wall of their entryway. 

“What do you mean? I thought it went quite well…” Cod, Marie was such an idiot at times. She had to physically restrain herself from throttling her poor, useless cousin, and instead opted to rub her eye with the heel of her palm.

Callie took a moment, and then lowered her hand. “Alright, so, what happened?”

Marie flicked her ear as she recalled, “She asked me out for dinner, to repay me for the chocolates, I guess? Then I got worried it was a date, because I would’ve acted like a total idiot if it was—”

“Don’t think you needed help there,” Callie snorted.

“What?”

She rolled her eyes. “Nothing. Carry on.”

Her cousin’s own eyes narrowed, but she obliged. “So I thought it was a date, but she assured me it wasn’t. Then we came here, and we all had a nice meal together.” Her brows furrowed. “Right?”

She heaved out a deep breath. “Okay, so hear me out for a sec, yeah?” Marie cocked her head, but let her continue all the same. “So, you get cute chocolates for Four. All wrapped up in the most romantic box I’ve seen in my life. And she gets all adorably nervous and stiff, and asks you out for dinner! And _then_ , she dresses all up for you—cod, her outfit was so cute, but that’s _besides_ the point—and gets real upset when you imply you don’t wanna go on a date with her.”

It took a second, but Callie could tell the _exact_ moment that everything clicked into place in her cousin’s head. Like, when you spent so long trying to figure out that last little thing you needed to solve an equation, and everything else just came together easily. Or whatever went on in that stupid little brain of Marie’s, assuming she even had one.

“Fuck…” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand. “She… she likes me?” Through the gaps in her fingers, she spied a dopey little smile.

Callie’s smirk was less than optimistic. “I think we’re moving into _liked_ territory now.” That seemed to set the urgency of the situation in.

“I have to fix this.”

She snickered. “No way, really? Good luck—” Marie hurriedly snatched her jacket from the hook. “Wait, are you going right _now_?” By the time she asked, her cousin was halfway through throwing open the door, and she jumped back with a yelp as it nearly hit her.

Well, at least she had the spirit.

* * *

She’d barely remembered to slip her mask on before she left, thankful she’d left it in her pocket. Her cap had been completely abandoned, but she figured the least of her worries right now was getting discovered.

Four… she’d really asked her on a date. With all of the events outlined so plainly, she felt like a jerk for not realising sooner. Really—it was so obvious, and she completely missed it! And now she’d screwed up any chance to be with her, just because she was an oblivious, bumbling _idiot_ that was more concerned about herself than Four’s feelings.

As if she’d have any luck finding her agent, anyway. She was probably too late to catch up to Four; retrospectively, she was in a rush to leave the apartment.

“Marie?” she heard from ahead.

Four was leant against a flickering streetlight, withdrawn into her shoulders, one hand hanging loosely onto her phone. She’d let her tentacles down, and they were curled softly either side of her face. Her stormy grey eyes were wide in surprise, and Marie briefly blanked at how… utterly perfect she looked. 

Not the time. She cleared her throat, heat rising to her cheeks, and quickly averted her gaze. “I uh, would have thought you were further along by now.”

“I was texting Callie,” Four mumbled, her voice trembling slightly, raw. Damnit, she _really_ owed her one after all of this. “What are you doing out here? You’re gonna get recognised…”

She tried to give a noncommittal shrug, but judging by the droop in Four’s ears, it just came off as harsh. “I was wondering if you wanted me to walk you home. It’s… late, after all.”

Four shook her head. “You really don’t have to, Marie.”

“I want to,” she promised. Still, the girl was hesitant. “Please?” She took a tentative step forward.

With a shaky sigh, Four shrugged. “Okay.” Closer now, she realised the girl’s eyes were red, the skin around puffy, and with the way the streetlight above illuminated her face, her tear stained cheeks were easy to see.

Marie sucked in a breath. “Fuck.” Four gave her a puzzled look, and she saw her lip quivering. “I’m so sorry Four,” she whispered, her voice so small. “I—”

Four forced a quiet chuckle. “It’s alright, I get it.”

“You do…?” 

Another shrug. “Yeah. I’m not really the most sociable squid around, so I’m really terrible with this stuff.” She rubbed the back of her head and gave a little grin, her attempts to look lighthearted making Marie’s ache in her chest. “I shouldn’t’ve assumed anything. It’s just—” She was struggling to keep her voice level. “You’re just… really nice, and cute, and easy to talk to, and I got way in over my head.” She made to turn away, another short laugh tearing its way up her throat. “I’m really sorry. Should we—” 

Marie was not a compulsive squid. She liked to meticulously plan all of her interactions, each with their own contingency plan in case it all fell apart. Being subjected to the unknown was terrifying for her.

So, she was just as surprised as Four must have been when she pulled her agent up into a sudden kiss, one hand cupped against her cheek, the other wrapped around her waist with a surprising fierceness. She was even more surprised as she felt Four melt into the touch so readily. For a moment, she truly understood why people took risks, acted spontaneously, let themselves be taken in the excitement of what they couldn’t know. 

Four’s lips were so soft… 

Finally, she had to come up for air, and for a fleeting few seconds, she was content to stay inches away from Four’s flushed face, the corners of her lip twitching nervously into a smile when she realised the girl’s mouth was still slightly ajar. Four’s breaths were heavy against her face, and her hearts fluttered when she realised that she could _feel_ them, and not just hear them.

Then, she remembered _what_ exactly had just happened, and she startled back, her arms snapping to her sides, her back rigid. “I!—” she stammered out, face completely aflame. “I’m sorry! I’ll—” Four’s hands found their way into hers, and her touch alone made everything melt away. Her mouth fell closed.

“Cod,” Four chuckled, “Shut up for once in your life.” And she pulled her down for more.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> you thought this was a m4rie fic but actually it was just an excuse to write about how perfect callie is
> 
> thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed my fairly off-fanon characterisations of these three hahaha. they're actually from another fic im working on at the moment that i'm hoping to get posted up soon, and i feel like their personalities make much more sense with that context but oh well, what can you do?
> 
> if you wanna talk more about cephies, feel free to stop by my server too! we're all real friendly c: https://discord.gg/3hhcMnT


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